Sexual Deal Breakers...

So I was reading this great blog from YesGirl (life of a serial mistress) http://serialmistress.blogspot.com/ from Illicit Encounters on Sexual Deal Breakers, and I found myself nodding, until she came to the cock size. Yes, a man with a small penis is a sexual deal breaker for her. Now apart from touching on my own male insecurities, I find this a fascinating debate.

She doesn't mention what is her minimum size, but I was wondering how many men like me have viewed sex sites with men with over average cocks, fuck women of all ages and sizes for hours on end. How jealous and anxious does that make us? Me, very. Perhaps its the same equivalent of breast size. Would you really go as stiff as a pencil for a woman with small boobs. Thought not. But her breast size might pale into insignificant if other parts of her body are in good proportion, therefore for me, breasts are seen in context to the woman.

I am of the school it is how you use it that matters. I found out that my size is the UK average for male penis which is 7 inches. Not sure about girth, and no, I've not measured my girth as yet.

I can say that "C" as a much younger person, who is a size 22 can't wait to get me into the sack again. Must be doing something right then? eh YesGirl?

Sorry, been away...

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've not posted for a while. I had to go to Jamaica for a family funeral. Not as exciting as it sounds as it was the rainy, and hurricane season!!! Didn't even get to go for a swim. OK, collective aaaahhhh!!!

Anyway, will be back soon with some nice bits including some discussion on Sexual Deal Breakers, and an update on my quest to get a good fuck.

Beware, horny young women about...

I know have a general rule, which I have broken regularly. By breaking the rule it enforces why the rule is a good one. I hardly ever contact anyone in their 20's. They are invariably out to fleece you in some way or other.

The only exception I have found is "C" who is real, and very eager for our second session, even offering me two days of copulation, the second to celebrate her birthday.

Not sure if anyone else would care to admit whether they have been "had" or not, but this seems a good rule for me, which is why I no longer frequent Gumtree, or Graigslist.

In some good news, my on off relationship with "S" is back on. We are friends, and spent most of the time we had together talking about sex, sex positions, adultery etc. It was real strange. Towards the end she shows me her breasts and her nipples !!!!

I would have been happy to have tasted them as her poured some drink over her nipples, but she resisted, even when I offered my breast or member in return!!!

She kicked me out of the house because we both were very clearly getting horny, and while she would not rule it out, we are for the moment, on a no sex basis.

I can wait.......

So,why me?I

Perhaps I'm really naive at this game. I just want some extra marital fun. I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't want to get hurt. So, not getting my hots, I join a site called Fuck Buddies, http://my-fbuddy.co.uk/gt1/ which advertises heavily with Gumtree.

Soon into joining for a month, I get an email from a fit black woman. Just what I am looking for. After a few more quick texts turns out I am not in her area, and its goodbye.

Then I get another email from a 64 year old woman. Now let me tell you, one of my fantasies is to fuck an older woman. I can't explain why. Its not a mother complex. I don't wanna fuck my mother, but when I was younger I was fostered and the mother, even at my tender age of six was well, real hot. I think its because of her that I have this fantasy.

I had one experience with a 55 year old woman ages ago. I have to be honest and say that she destroyed me in bed. She was so horny, she could have fucked me for two days. Don't ever think that after you've reached 50 its downhill.

I remember my mate taking out a bunch of female pensioners on a coach trip for the day. The coach was stopped by the Police and a young officer tried to board. My mate tried to prevent him. Being an officer of the law he won ~ poor boy.

Those women subjected him to the most lurid of taunts, "get your truncheon out mate and get me a good seeing to", "I'll take it for you big boy" were amongst the tamest.

He retreated so fast, you could almost imagine the truncheon clack on up and down on his member. Well he was warned.

Anyway, I digress.

I get a contact from this woman and she leaves her phone number. What more do I want!!! bingo!!!

She's horny for my member inside her. Well, I'm not gonna disappoint.

Anyway, odd things begin to happen. She's happy to do it in a car. Well, that is horny for a 64 year old. At this point we had not exchanged photo's so I ask for hers, really just to confirm who she is, so that I don't approach some stranger when we meet.

I was confused as I looked at this picture. It looked like a man in drag As there was two different pictures I assume that they were of different people. One had the url for a site called silver daddy http://www.silverdaddies.com/ so I checked it out. It was for gay men and their lovers. There was no woman in site.

A gay man wanted to make love to me ~ again.

I had earlier had the weirdest conversation with her. She wanted to leave her place of residence as a man and then turn into a woman. I was well and truly confused.

It turns out that she was a man who had an operation down below, so she was effectively a transvestite - assuming that I have my sexual orientation terms correct. She had the bottom half done, but not the top.

My days of passion have been dashed once again.

Consumer testing PII...

I've decided to test two sites. The first was craigslist http://www.craigslist.co.uk/ . A strange site, inhibited by young things, many of the posts were false. When I did get a reply it was to a website where I could sign up to membership to meet the person whom I wanted to make contact with. Why would I need to sign up to a site to do that?

Gumtree http://www.gumtree.co.uk/ was no better. I scoured the girls seeking boys section and again nubile young ladies abound on the site. It was so popular in term of posting that the men's version, which had very little takers was inhabited by male advertising in the women's section. Now unless they wanted girl on girl action, why would the women scour a section devoted to men seeking seeking women. One person wanted a credit crunch liaision, £95 for a blow job and straight sex. Mmmmmm, no thanks.

At one point, I saw an ad for someone who was coming to a hotel in London and wanted someone to service them. They left a mobile number which I texted. Bingo, it was on.

I tried to find the advert in vein.

We exchanged a few more pleasantries via text, never speaking on the phone. At last, the venue came through, and the time was arranged.

I still couldn't find the ad to confirm its content. The gumtree save and search feature is crap. I had hoped to have swapped a photo, but neither of us asked. So, I asked them to describe themselves. I think the hairy chest gave me a clue I was actually speaking to a man, and he thought that he was onto a good seeing to from me.

After confirming that he was indeed a man, our conversation came to an abrupt end, and so did my association with Gumtree. No more, "I need it hot and sticky" adverts for me, as I nearly had that.

Text fuck...

You know, I've made a woman come via MSN. Mind you I had to wank off after we started to describe what we would do to each other. By the time I came to the eating out your pussy part, I was so hard, it was unreal. It was only words. Steamy, dirty, horny words yes, but only words.

I've heard about this type of things but never really thought that it could happen. Well "B", the newest person in my life did a text version. We started off a normal conversation, then she started to talk about another woman. Bewildered, I couldn't answer, then another woman had mysteriously come into our lovemaking. I was having imagined text sex with two women, and we both swapped our ideas of what happened in that bedroom.

I always thought that she was a bit straight laced, but she was more horny than me, and that mystery woman (I made her a BBW Black women, who loved cock and pussy) certainly helped us both out.

It was one of the craziest nights I've been involved it. It got so hot, she simply phoned and said, talk dirty to me. She stayed silent as I described the action of all of us coming in unison, then eventually she gave out a low moan turned round and said in a low whispered tone "gotta go" then texted me "nite" My work was done!!!

Not heard from her in a few days as she now has troubles at home (unrelated to our phone text), so I have left the contacting down to when her domestics are resolved.

Saying goodbye isn't always saying goodbye..

I met and had a disastrous first date with someone from IE. It turned out that she was stalked, and it only stopped when she found the address of the stalker and threatened to report him to his wife. He quite rightly disappeared.

So when she came to me, she already had this in her head. That experience not only ruined her date, but left her vulnerable. She found that while she liked me a lot, and wanted to do things with me, she just couldn't.

We ended badly with me sending her a very rude email, because I was really into her.

Anyway, I decided to be the bigger person and sent her a card. You can get e-cards for free from www.123greetings.com I would advise you not to play the music, for ANY of the cards. They are real naff.

Anyway, she responds, explains that she is not ready for that type of relationship, and so we have left it. I don't want a girlfriend, she's not strong enough to cheat on her husband as yet.

As she knows, me I have offered my services should she feel the need to get down and horny, but the reality is that I will have to chalk this one down to experience and use my intuition better.

exit left stage "M", introducing "B"...

One great thing about IE is that if you play the game right, if you lose one person, you can pick up another. This one was a bit different. She had 5 other suitors. Did I wear her down? Heaven knows. One left because he was a prick, the others I am still trying to find out.

She has a very difficult relationship with her partner at the moment. She doesn't want to "See how it goes...". There is one other person in the picture, but I am not fussed. If she wants to take on more than one lover good on her. Given the type of unloving sex she has been receiving, she deserves someone(s) who tries to have sex with her in mind.

Anyway, nothing is set as yet, as we have yet to agree our first "chemistry" meeting, which from our texts (50 in one night), and MSN and emails I think will go well. But you never know with women and their motives on IE.

Seems that "m" is off the scene...

Received a strange email from "m" today, talking about the type of relationship she has not entered. Confused I wrote back directly asking her what she thought the relationship was. A friendship, a lover, or just companions. Men don't do subtle. Really, we don't.

I have yet to receive a response from her, and to be honest, neither do I care, nor expect one. I think "see how it goes" meant for her a companion. Note to self, never date a "see as it goes" candidate. It never works out.

consumer testing of web sites...

OK, I was looking at the web for a sex site which catered for men who liked older women. I found www.ukquickies.com. The advert was clear about a 1 - 2 - 3 process, and that I would be cumming. What an absolute con. I found my "test" a 78 year old woman. I sent out a text message. Quick as a flash a reply came back to me.

I thought that's quick for a 70 year old.

The site claims that it doesn't do auto responses. Anyway, I get talking to someone, then a photo arrives. Its of a nice young girl. I quickly tell her she's not who I thought that I was talking to. Two separate photos arrive from the same conversation. At this point I hit the stop button and end the conversation.

if they are real, it seems that their role is to keep you texting as long as you can. At £2.00 for receiving a text you can see why. OK, I've learnt my lesson on that one.

Actually I didn't. I tested it again, and when I asked the person her age and she said 36, I said, OK, bye. No I don't wanna talk, I want to get a contact number and address, go round to you and for us to have a good fuck ~ not to waste my money on texts with women who I haven't asked to talk to in the first place.

Next test contact magazine. Wonder what my next £20 (about of charges likely on my bill) will bring for me.